Chez Boon

B’s Blizzard: The Road to Williamsburg

It was the day after Christmas and my plans for the day were simple and perfect.

Yumcha (dim sum) with the guys.
Basketball with the guys.
Dinner with the guys.

It all went as planned. Yumcha was delicious. We balled for about 4 hours. After playing, we scarfed down dinner at 69. I got the usual. Spare ribs with black bean sauce over rice. We left around 9pm and my  night of the blizzard began.

The 5 block trek to my car took 15 minutes though it should only have taken 5 minutes. Between the knee deep snow, wind and cold, the walk was anything but brisk. On the bright side, my car didn’t have much snow on it to be cleaned off, and so Paul, Tony, Eric and Carol piled into my car. After a little dusting, we headed out towards Flushing, Queens. Only half a block into our journey a bus had gotten stuck at the intersection blocking our most direct way out of Chinatown through the Manhattan Bridge. Without hesitation, we rerouted towards the Williamsburg Bridge. Slowly we winded through Chinatown and NoLita eventually getting onto the WillyB.

Once off the bridge, we carefully drove the BQE towards the GCP. My speedometer never broke 15 MPH. Along the way, many cars were hopelessly stuck in drifts and banks. It was especially crazy seeing most of the cars were not even facing the road’s intended direction. We eventually got to Flushing dropping off Paul first. It took us about an hour to get to his stranded girlfriend. As we pulled into the gas station she was waiting at, I caught a glimpse of how happy she was to know Paul was there.

Drop-off one was complete. We pulled out and headed towards destination two about a mile down the road. Slowly we drove down Northern Boulevard avoiding pedestrians fighting for space on the streets since the sidewalks were of no use. More and more cars have given up along the way, but BR2 (Big Red II aka my baby, my ride, my whip, my 2 ton coat with wheels) had no problem driving the powder filled roads.

Twenty minutes later at drop-off two at Eric’s home, we make a strategic pit stop. I pissed. Cold air really makes the bladder active I tell you. Eric suggested to fill my washer fluid tank with de-icing fluid to help keep my vision ice free. Great idea! BUT, we couldn’t find the friggin’ washer fluid spout though! After fumbling with a flashlight in the cold night, we gave up. Instead we poured it all over the windows in hopes it’d hold me over through the rest of the night. As Tony and I are about to pull out of his driveway, he hands us a couple bottles of water and a container of brownies. Did he know something I didn’t? I accepted the rations in hopes that I wouldn’t need it for what should be a quick ride home.

We back out onto his street, and begin towards Williamsburg. Only 30 yards later, we are blocked off at the intersection by a duo of cars stuck in their path. We try to wait patiently as they each rocked back and forth trying to get out. No luck. As the clock was now past 11, Tony and I decide to go around one of the vehicles and take the perpendicular street snaking our way back onto Northern where we’d have a clearer road to drive on. Rather effortlessly, we make it back onto the GCP and towards the BQE.

Cars are driving even slower than earlier in the night. The highway looks like a sea of stranded ships. We nearly miss our exit onto Metropolitan Avenue, but we make our own path plowing through a non bank only a couple yards from the fork of the highway. As we wound down the exit ramp, we start to notice unshoveled streets all over. Luckily Tony knows his hood like I know where all the Popeye’s within 5 miles of my home.

We go down one street, only finding we can’t turn onto another. Virgin roads covered in at least 2 feet of snow sprouted everywhere we turned. Going down one street we notice a car stuck in the middle of the block ahead of us. We try to outsmart the obstacle by making a right onto the cross street. All of a sudden we stop. Shit. We’re stuck! I decide to reverse, but before I can even change gears a loud honking from behind alarms us. A big truck is now directly behind us. He’s honking at us thinking we’ve stopped intentionally. As the driver tries to confront us, I quickly silence his aggravation noting we were stuck. I tell him to back up. While this happens, two good samaritans offer to help us out by pushing BR2 forward. They were two cute girls out for what seemed to be an casual walk in the snowy hipster land. Not wanting them to possibly get hurt I refuse their offer.

As I try to move forward again, we suddenly hear a thud on the back of my car. The two cute girls have taken the initiative to push us forward. Wow. Though commendable and kind. It didn’t help. I asked them to stop, and we reversed out after a couple of rocking motions. The truck behind us had found another way around the area, and so he was nowhere to be seen. We thanked the two cute girls, and reversed down the street about two blocks onto another way to Tony’s home.

We eventually find our way onto Wythe. Tony lives on North 7th. We eventually get there. Before turning left we look down and his street is also untouched by any plows. I decide to go down it anyway since BR2 had been pretty stoic up to this point so far. I pull up to his door, and my rally snow race partner walked to his door. T’was a crazy but fun night getting him home. he told me to call if I needed help, and I simply agreed. We bid our farewells, and I looked down North 7th. I drove down the block confidently when BR2 just stopped. I tried to reverse, but my 4x4 wheels were spinning as if they were being tested.

Drive. Reverse. Drive. Reverse. Drive. Reverse. Nothing. Fuck.

Continued here…